If I died
by iloveeugiene
Summary: A car and a boy. That's all it took to bring me down. It wasn't even on purpose. But I didn't regret it. Tinchel friendship Character Death.


If I died?

A car and a boy. That's all it took to bring me down.

I spent years covering my feelings for him and now I just can't believe it was so easy to escape.

It wasn't even on purpose.

But I didn't regret it.

_3 years ago_

_I walked into my new school and gaped when I saw him. Finn Hudson, and not only that he had a girlfriend. And I didn't believe in Fairy tales._

_He was amazing. He was the kindest guy and the sweetest guy in school. _

_But he didn't think of me that way. He liked me but he wanted her._

_A few months later_

_I wrote him a note telling him my feelings. At the end I wrote "Would it matter if I died for you?" _

_He ignored me after that._

_Last night_

_I had seen him in the club I go to with Tina, my best friend who also knew I loved him and felt so guilty she couldn't help._

_She was always trying to convince me to get over him and set me up on endless blind dates, all who were great guys but they weren't Finn._

_I remember drinking but not getting drunk enough to forget him and the effect he had on me and my mind. _

_Seeing him across the bar staring at me. Why was he here?_

_He hated me. _

_Whenever I looked at him his eyes would turn black from their normal dark brown and he would glare at me. _

_An hour after _

_Just before we left I saw Finn standing in the road walking to his car, when I saw a car coming towards him. I saw him turn to see it and ran to push him out of the way. I heard a snap, Finn and Tina screaming._

_Then I felt strong hands pull me up from the pavement, I saw red and blue light as an ambulance screeched to a stop._

_I felt my head bring turned as I saw Tina's calm, always happy face twist from shock, when she saw Finn once again, into anger as she leapt on against him, hitting his chest screaming and crying as he stood there tears in his eyes for once not looking at me with hatred but what I saw was love and regret. And I wondered._

_Was it too late?_

_Then whole world turned black. I was sinking into Finn's eyes._

I came back from the slideshow of memories and saw Tina come in.

When I asked her what had happened she started to cry from her already bloodshot eyes.

"When you saved Finn, the car hit you and…it snapped your spine." She broke down crying. She didn't have to say it I already knew but she said it anyway.

"When the doctor said he doubted you would live, Finn snapped, he started screaming and crying. After a while he didn't make any sense he was crying so hard. That was when he took off."

She took a hard painful swallow and breathed.

"He couldn't stand the fact that you were dying for him."

My throat tightened and closed up.

"I'm sorry Rachel." She whispered through her sobs. "I'm sorry you were never allowed happiness."

I couldn't look at her.

"I love you so much more than a friend, you're like, my sister, Rach! I promise I will never forget you."

"I love you to, Tina. In the same way."

She rubbed her tears away before reaching to give me something. "Finn told me to give you this. He really wanted you to see it."

I took it, just staring at it. I knew what it was.

Tina took my hand and squeezed. "I'm so sorry Rachel."

"So am I," I whispered to her. "So am I."

She left after that. My best friend walked out of my life, but I didn't worry about it, because I knew the doctor was right.

I wasn't going to last long. There was no way. I didn't know how I wasn't screaming.

At the same time, I knew why because I had my pride. And I wasn't going to go out begging for death.

I stared down at my hand, at the note I had left for Tina.

I bit back tears and flipped it open, closing my eyes to find the courage I needed, and then opened them.

Dying, sure that was easy. Facing my broken heart? Nowhere near.

Underneath of the note I had left for him reading: "Would it matter if I died for you?"

He had written, "It would."

I screamed finally.

I didn't say anything, I just screamed.

I screamed to let it all out.

I screamed to let them know I wasn't going out easy.

And I screamed to let them know that my heart finally took it's time to break.

And that I didn't care anymore.

I crumbled that note up, feeling the tears fall down my face as I clutched it in my hand.

I shuddered in my last breath. I closed my eyes. And I pictured his face behind my eyelids for the one last time.

It wasn't a vision of him smiling; it was of him glaring at me, his eyes black, as he turned away from me again.

Then it was gone.

"Finn, I told you I'd die for you." I screamed, even if it felt like a whisper.

The sound of a boy howling came from behind the door, in enough pain almost to make my heart break, if it wasn't already broken.

I heard the door being broken down and glass spraying everywhere but my eyelids were too heavy to open.

I felt the crash of doctors and nurses try to pull Finn away as I heard another heart break. But it was too late.

I gave up.

"I love you too!" I heard him whisper hoarsely.

That was the only closure I got before my heart stopped beating.

Peace, silence and Finn's darkness swallowing me as I sank down further.

Beep. Beep. Beeeeeeeeeeep…

I was happy again.


End file.
